A little over a week ago I drove from my hometown of Nashville, Tennessee across the midwest through Kansas and into the beautiful state of Colorado. My new home was unknown, my soon to be friends were unknown, and every thing that was known in my life I was leaving behind.
Crossing Kansas took what seemed to be a lifetime...it was the most alone I'd ever felt in my life. Driving through grassy fields of nothing but the occasional cow or barn, made me ask the question: "who the heck would live out here?!?" It was a truly an empty and desolate land. This gave me time to think and ask more questions. "Why was I leaving everything that was good and comfortable for something that was so unfamiliar and distant?" Soon my heart was the same as the lie of the land around me...flat and empty.
I was alone in this, "What have I gotten myself into!" It would be so much easier to just stay at home with my family and friends and be comfortable...but I knew that God had a reason for bringing me into this. The fear was lessened when I met the 3 guys that I've been living with for the last week, and Xan and Cory. It has been an eye opening experience so far, from summiting a 13,000ft. mountain in Wyoming on a 6 day journey in the wilderness..to my first day of work as a painter tomorrow..to learning more about Josh, Adam, and Daniel..to eating steaks and smoking cigars with John Eldredge last night! It has been a blessing from God for me to be out here.
But I have to go back to the fear..Crossing Kansas spoke to who I am and soon to be who I was. The fear came from stepping into something with total trust in the Lord and his plan for me. I have come to realize that my loneliness came from never before steping away from the comfort of my life, and truely being on my own. I've learned what it means and feels like to trust in God even if it scares the hell out of me.
Now that I am out of Kansas and in Colorado the geography of my heart is beginning to match the geography of the land. Trusting in God and what he is doing in my soul through this experience is changing the way I see life and God. I am learning just how intentional God is with everything under the sun.
Crossing Kansas took what seemed to be a lifetime...it was the most alone I'd ever felt in my life. Driving through grassy fields of nothing but the occasional cow or barn, made me ask the question: "who the heck would live out here?!?" It was a truly an empty and desolate land. This gave me time to think and ask more questions. "Why was I leaving everything that was good and comfortable for something that was so unfamiliar and distant?" Soon my heart was the same as the lie of the land around me...flat and empty.
I was alone in this, "What have I gotten myself into!" It would be so much easier to just stay at home with my family and friends and be comfortable...but I knew that God had a reason for bringing me into this. The fear was lessened when I met the 3 guys that I've been living with for the last week, and Xan and Cory. It has been an eye opening experience so far, from summiting a 13,000ft. mountain in Wyoming on a 6 day journey in the wilderness..to my first day of work as a painter tomorrow..to learning more about Josh, Adam, and Daniel..to eating steaks and smoking cigars with John Eldredge last night! It has been a blessing from God for me to be out here.
But I have to go back to the fear..Crossing Kansas spoke to who I am and soon to be who I was. The fear came from stepping into something with total trust in the Lord and his plan for me. I have come to realize that my loneliness came from never before steping away from the comfort of my life, and truely being on my own. I've learned what it means and feels like to trust in God even if it scares the hell out of me.
Now that I am out of Kansas and in Colorado the geography of my heart is beginning to match the geography of the land. Trusting in God and what he is doing in my soul through this experience is changing the way I see life and God. I am learning just how intentional God is with everything under the sun.
brother soup, what a gift to be on the trail with you this last week. my heart is full, days later and still full, with gratitude and joy. so fun to read yalls blogs, i look forward to hearing more stories as the journey continues. love your heart bro...deep water there...
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