So far my summer has been about following the path of older men who have gone before me. Its been about learning from their stories, and discovering who I want to become. These men are offering me a road to follow, and its my job to do the same with younger men.
Sunday night a man named Mark O'Neil and his 15 year old son James came over to cook dinner for us. It was our chance to give James what older men have been offering us and to speak words into his life. We sat around the fire pit on the back deck of the cabin and shared with James our stories and what led us to Training Ground. For the first time we offered advice and gave to a younger man what we had received from older men.
We all noticed it and we were all proud of ourselves...to watch each other give James words of affirmation and advice was a sure turning point in this journey. This offering of what we have received is the essence of Training Ground. We are being prepared to be sent into the world with a message to offer others. We are being raised by a "village" of men who see the importance of fathering, and now it is our turn to do the same for those who are younger.
We have grown so much in the last 2 months...it is beautiful to see the process unfold and to know that who we were in May and who we are now are two entirely different people...we have much to offer, because we have been shown the way, we know our own hearts, and we want to bring others into who we are becoming.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Monday, July 9, 2007
The Great Mystery
So this week we have been seeking out the heart of a woman...
Saturday night we were hanging out at the cabin and Cory and Xan got us together and let us in on what they had planned for the evening. I was convinced that what ever it was that was about to come out of their mouths, first of all, I could handle without a problem, and second of all, it would be something that I was use to or comfortable with.
But what they had planned was something completely different and like nothing that we've faced in the past months with wilderness or work...they had arranged for 4 women around our age to come over and we had to take them out on one on one "dates". We had 1 hour to clean the cabin, cars, and ourselves before they came to the house! We were freaking out!
I truly felt like I had landed on the set of a reality TV show like the "Real World" and "The Bachelor" To tell you the truth I really wish we did have cameras in the house when they told us that we had to take a out that we had never seen, I'm sure our faces were priceless, and to capture the conversations between all the guys in he cabin while we were getting ready would have been great...we were sweating, giving each other pep talks, asking a million questions, and the greatest part about before the s arrived was that Dan and Adam didn't even know that they were going to be one on one with their date, they thought it was going to be a big group date. After they found that bit of info out the panic grew to a new level!
The women came over and it really sank in that this was actually happening...i mean you've got to put yourself in our world that we have been living in for the last 2 months, we've barely even seen a this entire time, much less taken one out for dinner and engage, its been guy time all the time, I was rusty for sure.
The night was very enjoyable and it was a new challenge for me, and it seemed to take my risk seeking heart to a new place. These women were amazing and sharp, they knew themselves and what they needed in a man. It was so refreshing to be in a place not of romantic interest but in a place of true engagement of a woman and her heart.
We are all learning what it takes to become a man, and its not just about getting in the stream or backpacking through the wilderness, but I believe that where you find evidence of a real man is in his ability to pursue a woman and her heart. Seeking out who she is, and giving her what she needs. This is a mystery for me and I was stretched and challenged in an area that this summer I have not been faced with...until now.
In my one on one time with Cory yesterday afternoon I was asking him what it looks like to take risks in life, and how to do that. He brought up a good point. He said that for me I need to look at the places in my life that make me uncomfortable and risk in those areas. He made me realize that the areas that I have been risking out here are the places that I am very comfortable with, such as the wilderness or the community of other men. But I'm finding that I need to risk much in the areas of relationships with people when it comes to engaging their hearts.
So last night was perfect, even if it did feel like a reality show, I got a glimpse of a strong woman's heart, and the weight of what has been lost over the years in dating and how men pursue and court a woman. As men we must step up and know what women need so that we will be able to offer it to them. This world is filled with passive men, and the sad thing is that women are settling for these sad excuses for a man....What if the bar was set higher and women expected more from men? Its a good question, and the beauty of it is that men and women both want their hearts to be desired and strongly pursued, they just don't know what this looks or even feels like. So the sad part is the settling, the accepting of less than is desired or even deserved.
The women who came Saturday night knew who they were and they were confident in themselves enough to know what they wanted and desired in a man. The question for us was..did we have what they desired and needed from us? This reinstates the point that if we truly knew ourselves and what we really need from the opposite gender then we would never settle. Because these women expected to be engaged heart to heart with a man, and if a man cannot offer this engagement to a woman then a woman who is in touch with her heart knows that she is wasting her time...the problem is that most men and women are not in touch with their own hearts enough to even desipher their need.
So the question I've been seeking is "What do I need from a woman?" and "How do I engage a woman's heart and her desire?" im sure ill be asking these questions for the rest of my life...
The greatest part of this weekend was that we entered into a new area of our journey... we are beginning to put what we have learned over the past 8 weeks into action and share our own stories and growth with others, and hopefully bless them through it.
Saturday night we were hanging out at the cabin and Cory and Xan got us together and let us in on what they had planned for the evening. I was convinced that what ever it was that was about to come out of their mouths, first of all, I could handle without a problem, and second of all, it would be something that I was use to or comfortable with.
But what they had planned was something completely different and like nothing that we've faced in the past months with wilderness or work...they had arranged for 4 women around our age to come over and we had to take them out on one on one "dates". We had 1 hour to clean the cabin, cars, and ourselves before they came to the house! We were freaking out!
I truly felt like I had landed on the set of a reality TV show like the "Real World" and "The Bachelor" To tell you the truth I really wish we did have cameras in the house when they told us that we had to take a out that we had never seen, I'm sure our faces were priceless, and to capture the conversations between all the guys in he cabin while we were getting ready would have been great...we were sweating, giving each other pep talks, asking a million questions, and the greatest part about before the s arrived was that Dan and Adam didn't even know that they were going to be one on one with their date, they thought it was going to be a big group date. After they found that bit of info out the panic grew to a new level!
The women came over and it really sank in that this was actually happening...i mean you've got to put yourself in our world that we have been living in for the last 2 months, we've barely even seen a this entire time, much less taken one out for dinner and engage, its been guy time all the time, I was rusty for sure.
The night was very enjoyable and it was a new challenge for me, and it seemed to take my risk seeking heart to a new place. These women were amazing and sharp, they knew themselves and what they needed in a man. It was so refreshing to be in a place not of romantic interest but in a place of true engagement of a woman and her heart.
We are all learning what it takes to become a man, and its not just about getting in the stream or backpacking through the wilderness, but I believe that where you find evidence of a real man is in his ability to pursue a woman and her heart. Seeking out who she is, and giving her what she needs. This is a mystery for me and I was stretched and challenged in an area that this summer I have not been faced with...until now.
In my one on one time with Cory yesterday afternoon I was asking him what it looks like to take risks in life, and how to do that. He brought up a good point. He said that for me I need to look at the places in my life that make me uncomfortable and risk in those areas. He made me realize that the areas that I have been risking out here are the places that I am very comfortable with, such as the wilderness or the community of other men. But I'm finding that I need to risk much in the areas of relationships with people when it comes to engaging their hearts.
So last night was perfect, even if it did feel like a reality show, I got a glimpse of a strong woman's heart, and the weight of what has been lost over the years in dating and how men pursue and court a woman. As men we must step up and know what women need so that we will be able to offer it to them. This world is filled with passive men, and the sad thing is that women are settling for these sad excuses for a man....What if the bar was set higher and women expected more from men? Its a good question, and the beauty of it is that men and women both want their hearts to be desired and strongly pursued, they just don't know what this looks or even feels like. So the sad part is the settling, the accepting of less than is desired or even deserved.
The women who came Saturday night knew who they were and they were confident in themselves enough to know what they wanted and desired in a man. The question for us was..did we have what they desired and needed from us? This reinstates the point that if we truly knew ourselves and what we really need from the opposite gender then we would never settle. Because these women expected to be engaged heart to heart with a man, and if a man cannot offer this engagement to a woman then a woman who is in touch with her heart knows that she is wasting her time...the problem is that most men and women are not in touch with their own hearts enough to even desipher their need.
So the question I've been seeking is "What do I need from a woman?" and "How do I engage a woman's heart and her desire?" im sure ill be asking these questions for the rest of my life...
The greatest part of this weekend was that we entered into a new area of our journey... we are beginning to put what we have learned over the past 8 weeks into action and share our own stories and growth with others, and hopefully bless them through it.
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